The Curious Case of Murad Saeed: Houdini of the Himalayas – Ab Kya Bolain?
In a country where even your doodhwala has strong opinions on geopolitics, and your local chaiwala might be moonlighting as an intelligence asset (with shockingly accurate intel on your daal-chawal preferences), one man has done the unthinkable:
He. Has. Disappeared.
Not "taking a social media break" disappeared. Not "in Dubai for ‘business meetings’" disappeared. But truly, spectacularly, WhatsApp-pe-last-seen-gone disappeared. No blue ticks. No forwarded dua messages. Not even a single blurry CCTV glimpse of a man in a kurta moving suspiciously near a fruit chaat stall.
Enter Murad Saeed: the Usain Bolt of invisibility, the Edward Snowden of Swat, the Houdini of the Himalayas. A man so elusive, he makes your rishtay-wali aunty look committed.
And yes, our institutions remind us regularly that they’re among the world’s best. After all, they did eventually find Osama bin Laden — chilling near PMA Kakul — in a town where even potholes have surveillance cameras (or at least nosy aunties with binoculars).
We have facial recognition software, NADRA’s eternal memory, a PTA that tracks memes faster than it fixes networks, and at least five agencies whose acronyms could win a game of Scrabble. But Murad?
He didn’t build a 3-storey fortress. He didn’t even dig an El Chapo-style tunnel (budget constraints, obviously). He simply walked off the grid — possibly during a load-shedding interval when every camera and every intern went offline.
This is Pakistan 2025, where:
- You like one shady tweet and your CNIC starts getting “reverified.”
- Your naat-posting uncle forwards a political joke and suddenly starts receiving calls from “Unknown.”
- One misstep on TikTok and you’re trending on YouTube, with a 3-hour debate on Bol titled “Yeh Qom Kahan Ja Rahi Hai?”
But Murad Saeed? He’s playing level-99 hide-and-seek with FIA, ISI, IB, NADRA, PTA, and for all we know, even PCB — maybe he's disguised as a ball boy at a PSL match, aggressively fielding for Lahore Qalandars.
He deserves a medal. No — a gold-plated, signal-blocking, biometric-dodging Lifetime Achievement Trophy, shaped like a SIM card and loaded with 10GB of anonymous browsing. Maybe throw in a year’s supply of JazzCash and a Telenor recharge scratch card from 2007 for nostalgia’s sake.
Rumors? The nation has theories.
- Some say he’s operating a covert Murad’s Chai Dhaba in Hunza, where the chai is so strong it doubles as truth serum, and Wi-Fi is exchanged only for classified information.
- Others claim he’s in Murree, serving anda-shami to honeymooners while chuckling at TV tickers.
- One theory insists he’s been shrunk down to USB size and now lives discreetly in the inner pocket of someone very tashreefaati — snuggled between a tasbeeh, a bottle of itr, and half a paan.
Meanwhile, the state? Oh, they're mobilized:
- Joint Investigation Teams are multiplying faster than marriage proposals after CSS results.
- Press conferences are happening every hour — “We’re taking this matter very seriously,” they say, in the same tone used for Karachi’s drainage and Quetta’s infrastructure.
- Committees are scanning CCTV footage of bored pigeons, trying to find clues.
And yes, PowerPoint decks are in full swing, complete with bar graphs, heat maps, and one poor intern updating a file called “Murad_Still_Missing_Final_FINAL_(2).pptx”
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the irony.
The same Murad Saeed who once debated with the passion of a thousand lions on TV…
The same Murad who trended with every mic drop and memeable outburst…
Has now become the quietest, most effective political protest in history.
No tweets. No leaked videos. Not even a rogue cousin spilling tea on YouTube.
In a country where everything leaks — gas, pipelines, election plans, and audio recordings — Murad remains tighter than your aunty’s pickle jar.
If Osama was the ultimate catch, Murad is the ultimate miss.
And in this grand showdown of State vs. Citizen, the citizen, for once, has won by doing absolutely nothing — and doing it brilliantly.
Bravo, Murad.
You’ve achieved what the rest of us only dream of during load-shedding: pure, undetected peace.
Just one humble request:
If you ever resurface, do send a location pin. And maybe… a YouTube tutorial.
Because let’s be honest — we could all use a little less ‘oversight’ in our lives.
